Guided Writing Sessions

Guided Writing Session Directory

Below, you will find recordings for each Guided Writing Session dating back to August 2021 when the sessions were began.

Take a moment to review the Usage and Guidelines Folder below for information on how to post work and use the directory.
Use the Independent Entries Folder for submissions not specific to a monthly program or Guided Writing Session.

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What Needs to be Healed in Me

What needs to be healed in my life is the fantasy of loving a man who is a television character. Parasocial relationships expand my social network in a way that negates the chance of rejection and empowers me to model and identify with an actor, which elicits an empathic response, which is a relief from strained relationships in my real life.

I was six years old when I had my first parasocial relationship with a character on the television show “Tales of Texas Rangers,” trauma took me out of my body and into an imaginary world where I existed in a narrative of my making. The story did not have to be cheerful or uplifting, it often was emotionally violent, like the fights my parents had. I just needed to feel in control, since children cannot control their worlds, I retreated from it.

I’ve had a handful of sexual encounters, but no intimacy nor relationship with men. I am a serial parasocial lover. I like detectives and must thank PBS for providing me with several characters I purloin into my imagination and obsessively develop a fully-realized life. I spent twelve years with one character, then saw a picture of him with his real wife and family and had to end the fantasy immediately.  It hurt!

I haven’t ever lived without an ongoing storyline parallel with my real daily life. These stories provide me with stability and comfort. At night standing at the foot of the bed, I feel a sense of relief knowing that waiting for me is a dream lover who provides for my emotional wellbeing even if the narrative is about a failing marriage; I am in relationship, even if it is only an invention.

On the Seekers Forum Zoom meeting in response to a comment I put in the chatbox, Mark gave me a prompt, “I am no longer a little girl.” I lit up when he said that for I am frozen in the trauma that occurred over sixty-three years ago when I was saved emotionally by a television character from the show Tales of Texas Rangers.

Recently I heard a famous, eighty-nine-year-old, poet who had been married for six months; he and his wife celebrate their anniversary every month and are delighted to have found each other.  Perhaps healing lies ahead for me!

 

Thanks for this writing, Madeline.  It would be so fascinating if you could write about your parasocial relationships in more depth; it's a fascinating emotional outlet and not one folks know much about. It might also help you get (even) clearer on how much you have evolved since that girl first found solace with the Texas Rangers, and prepare you for connection to men in real life.  Could you write an autobiographical essay about this, I wonder. I would be interested to read it ... as I suspect many others would be as well. If it helped to fictionalize a bit or use a pen name, by all means do. This is ripe for exploration.

Mark : )